"Sorry, the 'arrogance/condescension' comes from the remembered horror of having to deal with autotools too many times."
That is a valid feeling, but it does not excuse arrogant or condescending behavior. It's not the user's fault that you've had these experiences; you just ended up working with a painful tool. Moving on and refusing to work with it again is perfectly fine. Blaming the users for your misery is not.
"I don't think it is fair to accuse me of "blaming the user", as though that were horrific and plainly wrong, just because I want nothing to do with that nonsense again."
I accused you of blaming the user because of comments such as "If they are using something particularly weird, that is their own damn fault"
Separate the problem from the people, because the people you're attacking are not responsible for your pain.
I apologize if my tone has particularly bothered you, but I don't think that I have done anybody any harm. I'm not going to apologize for it any more than that.
Anyway, I think we have misunderstood each other.
> "I accused you of blaming the user because of comments such as "If they are using something particularly weird, that is their own damn fault""
I agree with you there. I am blaming the user.
Where we differ is that I have, with admittedly strong words, objected to the implication that blaming the user is inherently wrong or bad to do.
There is a certain amount of work I am willing do to for the sake of the user with use-cases dissimilar to my own. If I'm on linux, and inotify seems like the best too for the job, I'll either abstain from using it, or use it but make an attempt to cover other common possibilities. I think it is my responsibility as a developer to think of others to this degree, if I am simultaneously not following standards and not making concessions, then I am not being fair.
Using autotools is way over that helpfulness threshold though. If that much effort is involved then I am sorry, but I expect the user to do some legwork themselves.
That is a valid feeling, but it does not excuse arrogant or condescending behavior. It's not the user's fault that you've had these experiences; you just ended up working with a painful tool. Moving on and refusing to work with it again is perfectly fine. Blaming the users for your misery is not.
"I don't think it is fair to accuse me of "blaming the user", as though that were horrific and plainly wrong, just because I want nothing to do with that nonsense again."
I accused you of blaming the user because of comments such as "If they are using something particularly weird, that is their own damn fault"
Separate the problem from the people, because the people you're attacking are not responsible for your pain.