I agree with you here. Your example is an abuse scenario. In that case the hurt is the point, there isn't really meaning to it, and it really sucks that it happened to you.
The thing that gives me such a bad vibe from the OP is that this type of behavior is presented as normal in a listening scenario to such an extent that learning to dismiss it is a core listening skill. I think she was either abusive towards the people she expected to listen to her, or the BPD/NPD hypersensitivity to criticism caused her to habitually mistake feedback and boundary setting as cruel and hateful attacks.
Either way, the model of human relationships presented in the OP is completely dysfunctional. It deeply pains me to see it presented as advice.
The thing that gives me such a bad vibe from the OP is that this type of behavior is presented as normal in a listening scenario to such an extent that learning to dismiss it is a core listening skill. I think she was either abusive towards the people she expected to listen to her, or the BPD/NPD hypersensitivity to criticism caused her to habitually mistake feedback and boundary setting as cruel and hateful attacks.
Either way, the model of human relationships presented in the OP is completely dysfunctional. It deeply pains me to see it presented as advice.