Do y'all just like, ignore SLO's? Cloud SQL has a 99.95% SLO, going down for multiple minutes every month is within that. No smoke and mirrors here, there are ways to mitigate it but it's not Google messing around with expectations. HA doesn't mean 100% uptime.
Yet AWS manages to give near 100% uptime with RDS at a similar price point. CloudSQL downtime in the cases I've seen was caused by them rebooting both master instances at the same time. This is amateurish and totally unnecessary, the whole point of having multiple masters is to the ability to do maintenance reboots in a staggered schedule. This should be a trivial problem for Google to solve and would result in much better reliability for their users, yet it's been years with no change.